A Scary Day in Computer Konan
by Kang Xiu
Summary: Amiboshi is all ready to arange a marriage between Tomo and Nakago...but will it work?? When Nakago thinks he's five years old, Amiboshi must become babysitter....or mother
1. Can Tomo Find the Perfect Match?

Disclaimer: No own nothing  
Note: We were people. Fic made from conversation between Shouka and myself. I did Amiboshi, she did...everyone else.... it starts about halfway through the conversation. When we actually started being the people.  
  
A Scary Day in Computer Konan....  
  
*Hotohori: Allright.......................HEY!!!!!!*   
*Tomo: *latches self onto Hoto-sama's shirt*   
*Tomo: Nakago! You dyed your hair black....*   
Amiboshi: What now?   
*Tomo: I LOVE IT!!!!! *   
Amiboshi: Gaaaaaaaaaah   
*Hotohori: Anooo...I've got a sword, Tomo, and I'm not afraid to use it!!*   
*Tomo: You wouldn't cut me up, would you Nakago??*   
Amiboshi: Yaaaaaaaaay   
*Hotohori: Only if you did something...unacceptable*   
Amiboshi: As in.....   
*Hotohori: *thinks to self *ignorehimhangingonmylegignorehimhangingonmyleg*   
*Tomo: *grovels*   
Amiboshi: Gods   
*Hotohori: YES! *nods frantically* If I pray, Suzaku might be merciful and get this fiend off me! *starts chanting*   
*Tomo: I'LL pray too, Nakago!*   
Amiboshi: Hehhe   
*Tomo: Oh mighty Gods, PLEASE keep Nakago here safe and sound...and beautiful...like always! Help him remember that I love him even if he does go for that darker, Gothy look with his hair!*   
Amiboshi: Hahah!!!!!   
*Hotohori: Dear Suzaku, please help! Get this drunken thing away from me!!! It's seriously C-R-E-E-P-I-N-G-M-E-O-U-T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
Amiboshi: Yaha~~~~   
*Tomo: *tries to kiss "Nakago-sama" on the cheek*   
*Hotohori: AHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *swerves away*   
Amiboshi: Heika.... run   
*Hotohori: I agree! *dashes madly out the door*   
Amiboshi: Byeeeee   
*Tomo: Ahhhh...............Nakago hates me! *breaks down and cries*   
*Tomo: HE HATES ME! HE HATES ME!!!*   
Amiboshi: Tomo...don't cry   
*Tomo: *sniffle* But...he doesn't like me at all!! Why can't he be nice even a - little - bit??*   
Amiboshi: Well, Shouka likes you   
Amiboshi: Or maybe that's not a good thing   
*Tomo: She does??*   
*Tomo: I still want Nakago, though!!*   
Amiboshi: Heh   
*Tomo: *goes into hysterics*   
Amiboshi: So go out and get him   
*Tomo: I've already thrown myself at him once! He's not going to listen now, just like he didn't listen then!*   
Amiboshi: Ano...that was Heika   
*Tomo: why...*sniffle* Doesn't anyone like me?? And of course he's heika...*   
*Tomo: He's my king for all eternity!*   
Amiboshi: Nonono, Suzaku seishi Hotohori   
*Tomo: Hotohori? That can't be.... I don't like Hotohori!!!*   
*Tomo: wait............*   
*Tomo: I'm getting old! I can't remember what just happened fifteen minutes ago right!!*   
Shouka: Ano...you got drunk.   
Amiboshi: *cough* Nak's not a Goth   
*Tomo: He's not? But I just saw him, and his hair was bla - I'M CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*   
Amiboshi: Daaaaaaaaaa!!!! Go hang on the real Nakkie   
*Tomo: Okay..................*runs off and finds Nakago*   
*Tomo: Nakago! The real one! *goes down on knees*   
Amiboshi: Now, propose!!   
*Nakago: What is going on? *gives cold look*   
Amiboshi: GO FOR IT!!!!   
Amiboshi: GIVE HIM THE RING!!!   
*Tomo: Propose? That's a bit early.... but okay! *takes deep breath* NakagoIgotthisringforyouandIloveyouandwillyoumarryme???*   
Amiboshi: Say YES!!!!   
*Nakago: Hem... let me think.... No!!!*   
Amiboshi: C'mon, Nakka no baka!!!   
Amiboshi: Or I'll MAKE you   
*Nakago: Heh! That's a good one! Make me? *chortles evilly*   
Amiboshi: *gets out flute*   
*Tomo: Amiboshi.... he said no! He said no!!!!!!!!!!*   
Amiboshi: *starts playing flute*   
Amiboshi: *begins to manipulate Nakago*   
*Tomo: *wails*   
*Tomo: He called me a freak!*   
Amiboshi: *Nakago feels overwhelming affection for Tomo*   
*Nakago: Dak! What am I doing??!! I...can't...like...him!!!*   
*Tomo: Oh yes you can, oh yes you can! *prays*   
Amiboshi: *Nakago's ki is manipulated* Now.... say...you'll...marry...him!!!!!   
*Nakago: But.... but...Oh damn it all! I love you, Tomo-chan! I've been evil and rude to you and I hope you can forgive me!!! It would be my honor to marry you!*   
Amiboshi: YES!!!!! *does victory dance*   
*Tomo: YES!!!!!!!!!!! I love you too, Nakago-sama! Forever and ever!!!!*   
Amiboshi: *continues to play, placing more ki manipulation into "Here Comes the Bride"   
*Tomo: THANK you, Amiboshi!!!! *huggles both at the same time*   
*Tomo: Er.... should I wear a dress???*   
Amiboshi: Nah....just paint your face all white   
Amiboshi: Lose the makeup   
Amiboshi: Get a tux   
*Tomo: Tux??? Makeup??! But I haven't taken off my makeup to anyone in years!!*   
Amiboshi: -_- Do it. I know what I'm talking about   
*Nakago: *starts wiping off Tomo's makeup* Hey! You're gorgeous!!!!*   
*Tomo: *tries to cover up face*   
Amiboshi: I mean, I successfully got otouto and Yui together   
Amiboshi: Trust me   
*Tomo: *blinks* Okay.....*takes hands away from face*   
Amiboshi: There   
*Tomo: Now for the tux.........what's a tux???*   
*Nakago: *hastily gives Tomo one* This is!!*   
Amiboshi: Um.... Shouka, a little help   
Amiboshi: Oh, there, Nak did it   
*Nakago: Shouka, Amiboshi, everybody look away! He's changing! *glares* *stands in front of Tomo protectively*   
Amiboshi: *cough* I ain't looking   
*Tomo: Good! *flails*   
*Nakago: Er.... let me...help you - you obviously haven't worn one of these before...*   
Amiboshi: Heh   
*Nakago: Ahhh, Tomo...that would be the sleeve, not the pant leg opening*   
Amiboshi: *cough* The boy needs help   
*Nakago: Shouka...help! But don't look!!!*   
Shouka: How??????   
Amiboshi: Has he ever worn anything besides that freaky Chinese thing anyway?   
Shouka: *tries to help without looking*   
*Nakago: I don't think so...*blinks* Alright, Shouka you can look so you can help, but only for a second*   
Amiboshi: Shouka.... consider yourself lucky   
Amiboshi: Not many girls get to help their guys put on a tux   
Shouka: *helps put Tomo's tux on right, then looks away respectively*   
Amiboshi: Hah   
*Nakago: Thank you. I would have killed you if you'd kept your eyes on him for any longer*   
Shouka: yeah....   
Shouka: i know:)   
Shouka: That's why I did that quickly...I'm not stupid!!   
Amiboshi: Angel Shouka   
*Tomo: Okay.... now what??? I've never gotten married before!*   
*Nakago: I should hope not!!*   
Amiboshi: Soooo, we get Chiri!!!   
Amiboshi: He's a priest!!!   
*Chichiri: Hey, what'd you guys call me for, no da? Wha...what are they doing??*   
Amiboshi: Getting married   
*Chichiri: *stares at Tomo and Nakago* Getting MARRIED?! But.... but.... won't Tomo get abused, no da??? Within the week we'll be seeing signs of whip marks on him, no da!*   
*Nakago: *goes wide-eyed*   
Amiboshi: -_- CHIIIIIRIIIIII   
Amiboshi: You better do it already!!   
*Nakago: I will NOT hurt him!! Now we need to get married!!!*   
*Chichiri: Alright.... but....oh, alright, no da, I'll do it....*   
Amiboshi: CHIRI!!!! GET OVER THERE AND CUNDUCT THE CEREMONY   
Amiboshi: BEFORE I MAKE YOU!!!   
*Chichiri: *gets into silky white outfit hastily*   
Amiboshi: Good, now start talking!!!   
Amiboshi: Move!   
Amiboshi: Or I'll get the fluuuuute   
*Chichiri: Okay, I'm back...Now, repeat after me.... I'm going to skip the rest of the ceremony, cause I know that you want to be married as soon as possible...."I, Tomo, take this man, Nakago*   
*Tomo: I, Tomo, take this man, Nakago*   
*Chichiri: to have and to hold*   
*Tomo: to have and to hold*   
*Chichiri: In sickness and in health*   
*Tomo: In sickness and in health*   
*Chichiri: for richer, for poorer*   
*Tomo: For richer, for poorer*   
*Chichiri: To cherish and love*   
Amiboshi: Hehehe   
Amiboshi: Excellent!!   
*Tomo: To cherish and love....*   
Amiboshi: Good going Chiri, keep it up   
*Chichiri: Alright...from this day forward...*   
*Tomo: From this day forward*   
*Chichiri: Till death do you part!*   
*Tomo: Till death do us part!*   
*Chichiri: Now, Nakago it's your tur - *   
*Nakago: No!! I love him, I love him, I love him, and just say the final vows!!*   
Amiboshi: Good, good   
*Chichiri: All right...............Tomo, do you take Nakago as your lawfully wedded husband?*   
*Tomo: I do!*   
*Chichiri: And Nakag - *   
*Nakago: I do! I do! I do!!!!!!!!!!!!*   
*Nakago: *Takes out solid gold ring and slips it on Tomo's finger*   
*Tomo: *takes out platinum ring and slips it on Nakago's finger*   
*Nakago: Er...I don't have a veil to pull up.....*   
*Tomo:.............................*   
*Chichiri: PSSST, Nakago, I think you should just go ahead and kiss him!!*   
Amiboshi: Yeah, do it, before I retrieve the flute   
*Nakago: You sure? Okay.........................*takes deep breath*   
*Tomo: *takes deeper breath*   
Amiboshi: And....KISSSSSSSS   
*Nakago: *presses his lips against Tomo's, doves flutter up and the church bell rings*   
Amiboshi: LAlalalalalalal!!!!   
*Tomo: I love you, Nakago!!*   
Amiboshi: Yaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!! Sound the trumpets!!!! ALL RIGHT!!!!   
*Nakago: I love you too, sweetheart!!!* *picks Tomo up and carries him down the aisle*   
Amiboshi: Yeeeeesssss!   
*Tomo: Hey! Tasuki! You're crying!*   
Amiboshi: WHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Blackmail video!!!   
*Tasuki: Ahhh, get off it...I just got somethin in my eye *sniffles*   
Amiboshi: Heh   
Amiboshi: Yeah, right   
*Tasuki: Ahhh.........s**t...yeah, I guess I was cryin a little bit...*   
Amiboshi: Hehe   
Amiboshi: Sooo, cake?   
*Chichiri: That was...weird.............I'm a monk, I'm not supposed to aid in same-sex marriages!!*   
Amiboshi: Live. With. It   
*Nakago: Look at that face, though!!*   
Amiboshi: Yeah!   
*Tomo: *blinks wide-eyed*   
Amiboshi: Cute   
*Nakago: See! Come now, Chichiri, see reason...I love him, he loves me!*   
Amiboshi: Sooooooooooooooo, can I be godfather to the kids?   
*Tomo: Sure! We'll adopt little ones....*   
Amiboshi: *cough* oh yeah...I forgot about that   
Shouka: Hey! I can be auntie Shouka!! *giggles*   
*Tomo: Chocolate cake!!! Who made it??*   
*Hotohori: *scuffs carpet*   
*Hotohori: I felt rather guilty after you...broke down sobbing.*   
Amiboshi: Aawwww, heika, how sweeeeet   
Amiboshi: *cough* at least it wasn't Miaka   
*Nakago: Hey!!!! YOU MADE HIM CRY! *jumps at Hoto-sama*   
*Tomo: Hold up, it wasn't his fault!!*   
*Tomo: I was kind of..............*   
*Nakago: Kind of what??*   
Amiboshi: Easy   
Amiboshi: He thought Heika was you   
*Tomo: I was...drunk.*   
Amiboshi: He was upset   
Amiboshi: Because he thought you didn't love him   
*Nakago: I see....well, no need to get upset over that ever again - I adore you Tomo! I love you, I need you, you are my everything, and I'm sorry I've been so cruel!*   
Shouka: Darn right, Nakago   
Shouka: He was crying really hard   
*Nakago: goes wide-eyed*   
Amiboshi: Heh.... buuuuuut, a little flute power goes a long way!   
*Nakago: *holds Tomo really hard*   
Amiboshi: Good dog   
*Nakago: Wait a minute...did you kiss him?*   
*Tomo: blinks*   
Amiboshi: Noooooo   
Amiboshi: Course not   
*Nakago: When you thought Hotohori was me, did you kiss him? Did you??*   
*Tomo: I.... tried to...but I thought he was you!!*   
*Tomo: I'msorryimsorryimsorry!! Pleasedonthitmepleasedonthitme!!*   
*Nakago: *goes wide eyed again*   
Amiboshi: What? Hit you? If he does that...   
*Nakago: Okay....I think it's time to have a talk*   
Amiboshi: Yaaaah   
*Nakago: *sits down with Tomo in his lap*   
*Nakago: Now...what makes you think I'd hit you??*   
Amiboshi: um...ASHITARE!!!!   
*Tomo: You hit me all the time before*   
*Nakago: Yes, but...now I love you! I was just being...idiotic*   
Amiboshi: You were being Seiryuu-manipulated   
*Tomo: You're never going to hit me again??? Ever??? You used to like kicking me...*   
*Nakago: NEVER again! Evereverever!!!*   
Amiboshi: GOOD GODS I HOPE NOT!!!   
*Nakago: That was wrong of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I promise I'll never hurt you that way again, or.... or...I'll turn myself in for abuse!!!*   
Amiboshi: Good dog!!   
*Hotohori: And I'll ram a sword through your gut*   
Amiboshi: YAAAAY...oy.... nothing   
*Tasuki: And I'll burn yer sorry abusing **s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*   
Amiboshi: *mad coughing fit* And I'll manipulate your ki   
*Nakago: I'm sorry *kisses Tomo on the forehead*   
Amiboshi: Good dog   
Amiboshi: Have a treat   
*Nakago: And I'm sorry for licking Tamahome's face........that had nothing to do with love or anything like that! I love YOU!!*   
Amiboshi: Exactly. That was just a surprise tactic   
*Hotohori: Nakago, maybe we should give you a second set of vows to take....*   
*Nakago: *fiddles nervously* Okay   
Amiboshi: Heh   
*Hotohori: Repeat after me...."I will never hit, slap, kick or otherwise hurt Tomo, my husband*   
Amiboshi: So Nakkie's the wife?   
*Nakago: I'll never hit, s-slap *cringe*, or otherwise hurt Tomo, my husband*   
Amiboshi: You forgot kick   
Nakago: Or kick! I'll never kick him, ever everever!!!*   
Amiboshi: Gooooood   
*Hotohori: In same sex marriages they are both considered husbands......although seeing as Tomo cries so much, I think he'll end up playing the role of a wife*   
Amiboshi: Hah   
*Hotohori: Alright...now the next part.... repeat after me - "I will never rape or otherwise sexually abuse Tomo*   
Amiboshi: WHAT?   
*Nakago: I will.... never rape or otherwise sexually abuse Tomo, cause I love him and that's evil and creepy and mean!!*   
Amiboshi: GOOD DOG!!   
*Hotohori: Close enough...now, say it after me - " I will never say terribly cruel things to Tomo that make him cry for hours on end, like I usually do*   
*Nakago: I will never say terribly cruel things to Tomo and make him cry for hours on end, like...like...I usually do....*   
Amiboshi: Hahahaha   
*Hotohori: And I'll never humiliate Tomo or call him anything bad, like the way soooome people do*   
Amiboshi: Ohhh   
*Nakago: No! I would never be like that...that man is so mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*   
Amiboshi: Say it already   
*Nakago: Why would I want to call Tomo anything like "slut?" That's just terrible! Oh all right.... I'll never humiliate Tomo or call him anything bad, like the way sooooome people do*   
Amiboshi: Goooood doggie   
*Hotohori: Good....now, time for your seconds vows, Tomo*   
Amiboshi: Yess, speak   
*Hotohori: I, Tomo, will never torture people for fun anymore or take pleasure because of other people's pain*   
Amiboshi: Yaaaaaaaaay   
*Tomo: I, Tomo, will never torture people for fun anymore or take pleasure because of other people's pain*   
*Hotohori: You will also apologize to Amiboshi this very instant for causing him and his brother such pain and grief.... *   
Amiboshi: WHOOOOHOOOO!!!!   
*Tomo: Okay - Amiboshi, I   
Amiboshi: Yeeeeess?   
*Tomo: I...................I'm sorry!!!   
Amiboshi: *glomp* no prob   
Amiboshi: Sorry for breaking your shell   
*Tomo: That's okay *hugs back* And thank you for helping with the wedding!!!! You made me so happy, Amiboshi!!!!!   
Amiboshi: No problem whatsoever!!!!   
Amiboshi: You deserve some happiness   
Amiboshi: As does everyone   
*Tomo: Ahhh...thanks!! You're right, everyone deserves some happiness.... which is why I brought Ashitare along!!*   
*Nakago 0_0*   
Amiboshi: Whaaaaaaaaaat?   
Amiboshi: I'm not marrying wolf man   
Amiboshi: No matter WHAT   
*Tomo: If you don't apologize to that...er...wolf-thing...I'll divorce you, Nakago!*  
*Tomo: You need to forget your old wicked ways completely, Nakago!*  
Amiboshi: Yeah, you do that   
Amiboshi: Just no pairing   
Amiboshi: I'm too young to marry   
*Nakago: I...I...*turns to face Ashitare* I'm...sorry. I guess I should have cared a little bit more about everyone, including you.*   
Amiboshi: *cough* darn right you should have!!!   
*Ashitare: Runs away happy*   
*Tomo: Thank you, Nakago!!!!!!!!!*   
Amiboshi: Good doggies   
Amiboshi: Be happy   
Amiboshi: Don't eat me   
Amiboshi: Or my flute   
*Tomo: Hey, we forgot about Shouka! Shouka, thankies for helping with the wedding!!!!*   
Shouka: *sniffle*   
Shouka: *goes into hysterics*   
Amiboshi: Yes?   
Shouka: YOU'RE BOTH SO CUTE!!!!   
Amiboshi: Awww, thanks~   
Amiboshi: :-D   
*Tomo: But.... where do we go now??*   
*Nakago: The Bahamas*   
*Tomo: *gasp* Na...nani??*   
Amiboshi: Exactly   
*Nakago: Yes, what the flute-player said...I booked us a trip on a cruise for a few days from now...for our honeymoon!!!!*   
*Tomo: But...I get seasick!!*   
*Nakago.... er...   
*Nakago: That's okay*   
Amiboshi: I can manipulate my ki to cure your seasickness...   
*Nakago: I doubt you'll be out of our bedroom much, Tomo sweetie! ;)*   
*Tomo: Ano...let's wait...*   
*Nakago: WHAT?! You have to be kidding me!!!!!*   
Amiboshi: *cough*   
*Nakago: WE'RE MARRIED!!!*   
*Hotohori: *draws sword* Remember those vows....*   
Amiboshi: Well, Ryuuen and Sai didn't want that kind of a relation ship right off either   
Amiboshi: Right heika?   
*Hotohori: Right.................................If he isn't willing, there's nothing you can do, Nakago!!! Understand??!!*   
Amiboshi: Precisely   
*Nakago: *cringes* Awright, awright....................................................................I'll try.........to hold back*   
*Hotohori: No, you WILL. No if's and's or but's about it. Keep your hands off him until he wants *Tomo: *squirms* Guys....   
*Tomo: I think we're embarrassing Chichiri*   
*Chichiri: O_o*   
Shouka: :)   
Shouka: I feel so HAPPY for them.....Tomo-chan especially   
Amiboshi: Yes   
*Tomo: Yeah, I feel happy too! *pushes Nakago away from his neck* Calm down, will you?!* Don't disgust Chichiri anymore than he is...*   
*Chichiri: *faints*   
Amiboshi: Hah!!!!!   
*Nakago: My, he is a bit...squeamish.... *   
Amiboshi: Heheh   
*Tomo: *pokes monk with his toe* Are you alright??*   
*Chichiri: *twitches*   
Amiboshi: *Amiboshi bursts into a fit of insane laughter*   
Amiboshi: *suddenly solemn* I have no one   
*Chichiri: Oh...I had this horrible nightmare...where Nakago and Tomo got married!*   
Shouka: Ahhh!!!!! Amiboshi, don't feel sad!!!!!   
*Tomo: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Hotohori, Nakago, we must cheer him up!!! Hotohori, do the dance!!*   
*Hotohori: NO!*   
*Tomo: yes!!!!!!!!!*   
Amiboshi: Um...no   
Amiboshi: Thanks, but that won't help.  
*Hotohori: Fine...*shuffles feet* Wait! I don't have do it cause that won't help! *sticks tongue out at Tomo*   
Amiboshi: Heh   
*Tomo: Ahh...we have to make him happy somehow!*   
*Tomo: How can we make you cheerful?!*  
Amiboshi: Well, I'm even more unhappy that i have to leave now   
Shouka: *sobs*   
Amiboshi: Haiiiii   
*Tomo, Hotohori, Shouka, Nakago, and half-awake Chiri: JA!!!!!!!!!*   
Amiboshi: Jaaaaaaa!!! *takes his leave*  
  
TBC...maybe  
  
And we'll maybe continue the adventures...if you review!! Should Amiboshi be made happy? Does he deserve a love of his own? Find out!! REVIEWWWWW!!!!!!!  
  
  
KoKourin 


	2. Can Amiboshi Find the Perfect Match?

Chapter two is up! Can Amiboshi find love? Will KoKourin's computer time limits stop the ceremony? Once again, we own no one.  
  
Another Scary Day in Computer Konan  
  
Shouka: Ami-chan, are you still sad???? *blinks*   
Shouka: Please don't be!!! I hate it when people are depressed.... I get more depressed than they do usually -_-   
Shouka: I notice that I'm talking to myself   
Shouka: -_-   
Amiboshi: well, I'm not exactly ecstatic.... I'm lonely   
Shouka: Aawwwwwwwwww! Well, that is simply unacceptable!   
Shouka: Would it help.....   
Shouka: If Korin told you she loves you????   
Amiboshi: What?   
Shouka: Well.... you ARE her one and only bishi   
Amiboshi: Who is this Korin? Would that be the girl who calls me her invisible chibi?   
Shouka: Guess that's the one:)   
Shouka: There must be SOME way to cheer you up!   
Shouka: Right??!!   
Amiboshi: ...yikes...   
Shouka: Not yikes! *paces frantically* YOU! *points accusingly*   
Amiboshi: *cowers*   
Shouka: YOU NEED TO TELL ME HOW TO MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY!!!!!   
Shouka: Happy, I tell you!   
Shouka: *points again*   
Amiboshi: Iunno!!! I want to be loved!!   
Amiboshi: Otouto and I are fighting   
Shouka: Aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poor BABY! *huggles* What's it over??   
Shouka: *sits Ami down on a bed*   
Amiboshi: I'm a pacifist. He's not   
Amiboshi: Obvious complications   
Shouka: *sits down with notepad*   
Shouka: I seeeeeeeeeeeeee................   
Shouka: And is there any way that you can talk to him about this little problem of yours?   
Amiboshi: He wants to kill Yuiren. Obviously, I don't want him too   
Amiboshi: Sooo, I'm trying to make him not want to   
Amiboshi: But he won't listen   
Shouka: *scribbles* intttteeerrrrrreeesssttttiiinnnggggg...............keep going   
Amiboshi: So I've resorted to threats   
Shouka: That is not good   
Shouka: Not good at all   
Amiboshi: I'm trying to get him and Yui to break up   
Shouka: *scratches head*   
Amiboshi: It'll only end in tears after all   
Amiboshi: She's a miko, and he's seishi   
Shouka: *nods* Well, I'm just guessing, but I think...   
Shouka: That maybe you should bring your brother here   
Shouka: So that we can work this out   
Shouka: *scribbles some more*   
Shouka: This is a very odd case in deed   
Amiboshi: He's not here right now   
Shouka: Hmmm, that's not good either...well, I really think that you ought to try not threatening him for awhile   
Shouka: And I know it'll be hard   
Shouka: But..............................................I'm sure he feels threatened   
Shouka: His own twin...   
Shouka: Threatening him   
Amiboshi: I need something   
Amiboshi: How can I show him that killing is wrong?   
Shouka: Ultimately, the thing to show him that death is wrong would be to show him that you could be killed. To somehow impress upon him the finality of death...It would be harsh, but faking your death would show him how very wrong indeed killing is   
Shouka: However   
Shouka: I can understand...   
Shouka: If you don't want to take such drastic and possibly emotionally painful measures   
Amiboshi: Well...if it's the best thing?   
Amiboshi: I mean, you're a professional, what do you think?   
Amiboshi: Should I?   
Shouka: -_- I hate it when my computer does that..........................................................   
Shouka: And I suppose yours did too??   
Shouka: Or was it only me??   
Amiboshi: What? Psychiatrist-san?  
Shouka: Arg! Computers...are.........devils!!!!!!!!!   
Amiboshi: Sooo, should I?   
Shouka: Fake your death? It is up to you. It would be even better if you could somehow place yourself in a situation where he feels responsible for killing you...........   
Shouka: Although that might be hard to achieve   
Shouka: If not impossible...   
Amiboshi: But...that's what the problem is!!!   
Amiboshi: He thought I was dead and attempted to kill Yuiren   
Shouka: Aahhh, and the plot unfurls...............................................................(just kidding. I saw the series) Still, I think his callous disregard of death is the root of this situation   
Shouka: He seems to care when you or someone else he loves passes away....   
Shouka: But no one else   
Amiboshi: *big sad eyes* But I love my brother too!   
Amiboshi: I just don't want him to keep killing   
Amiboshi: And I don't want him to be caught in the "miko situation"   
Shouka: Do you think he loves you enough to stop killing??   
Amiboshi: I don't knowwww *eyes fill with tears*   
Shouka: And as for the "miko situation".........I'm afraid that love happens, and those who are caught in feel nothing else but the feeling of the moment   
Shouka: Make it clear to him   
Amiboshi: Yes?  
Shouka: That by killing, he is hurting you..............put it bluntly, if you haven't' already, and see how he reacts   
Amiboshi: *nodnod*   
Amiboshi: Thank you, Shouka-san   
Shouka: If he has any sort of affection for you (which I hope he does!) he should be at least very torn in his instincts...   
Shouka: Your welcome:)   
Amiboshi: But...we still haven't solved the problem of my love life   
Shouka: Hmmm, your love life...now, is there any particular person that you WISH would be in love with you????   
Amiboshi: *blushes* Not really   
Amiboshi: I just want someone   
Amiboshi: Who will deeply care for me   
Shouka: *sigh* I think everyone does...at least everyone who doesn't have their soulmate already   
Amiboshi: *nod*   
Shouka: Hmmmm....well, think of every girl you know   
Amiboshi: *nod*   
Shouka: List them and see if there is potential   
Amiboshi: Four   
Shouka: *sits back and waits expectantly*   
Amiboshi: Korin, Taira, Waen, you   
Amiboshi: Waen is.... romantically linked to Hikitsu, if their horse-back riding sessions count for anything   
Shouka: Hmm, well you certainly can't step into someone else's relationship   
Shouka: As I'm sure you are already aware of:)   
Amiboshi: No, I definitely don't want to ruin Waen's happiness!!   
Shouka: *smiles* You're very sweet. Whoever you find will be very lucky indeed   
Amiboshi: *self-conscious smile* Thanks   
Shouka: Now, have you ever thought of going to a bar or diner and scoping the ladies? Talking freely, meeting people?? Maybe catching a number and trying out a stranger?   
Amiboshi: *cringe* WHAT? Me?   
Shouka: Yes, you   
Shouka: Have some self-confidence   
Shouka: You're cute enough, for one   
Shouka: And girls love a guy who plays music;)   
Amiboshi: but...but.... me...I'm not...I mean   
Shouka: If it makes you uncomfortable, that won't do. How about a dating hotline??   
Amiboshi: It's...the prospect of going out and talking to someone that makes me nervous   
Shouka: Care to tell me why?   
Amiboshi: I guess...I just don't feel really confident about myself  
Shouka: All right, we've found the heart. Why do you not feel confident? I'm confident that you could go out and get a date, Amiboshi.   
Shouka: But perhaps I was right   
Shouka: When I thought that you needed   
Shouka: Someone that you've already come to know and respect   
Shouka: I suppose that going out and meeting strangers just isn't for everyone *mental sigh*   
Amiboshi: I think you're right   
Amiboshi: Actually   
Shouka: well, what about the other three?? Waen you have ruled out..........and the others????   
Amiboshi: Well, Taira really likes Nuriko...and otouto   
Amiboshi: I wouldn't want to intrude on that   
Shouka: I see...go on (and I agree, you don't want to go messing in that)   
Amiboshi: Well, then there's you...and Korin   
Shouka: *shrugs uncomfortably* as far as I know, Korin seems to be very affectionate towards you   
Shouka: And I really want you to be happy! (more people need to be happy in this world)   
Amiboshi: *eyes widen* Yes?   
Amiboshi: *nods*   
Shouka: Like I've said.........you ARE her only bishi...I like you so much - but............   
Korin: OH MY SWEET SUZAKU!!!!   
Korin: Ami-ai! You need someone?   
Amiboshi: *nods*   
Shouka: Oooh! Love is in the air:)   
Shouka: Talk, people, talk! Don't make the psychiatrist do everything!   
Amiboshi: *cowers*   
Korin: *steps in front of him protectively*   
Korin: Don't upset Ami-ai, please Shouka   
Shouka: Korin? Ami?!   
Amiboshi: Hai?   
Shouka: Get a talkin!   
Shouka: Talktalktalk!   
Korin: We can't talk all the time!!   
Shouka: Don't make the psychiatrist do ALL the work!   
Korin: Quick, become a marriage counselor!   
Shouka: K   
Shouka: *ahem* It seems that this young man - Amiboshi, is your name?   
Shouka: Well, it seems that you need a love in your life   
Amiboshi: *nod*  
Shouka: Korin, are you willing to do anything about this?? *hint, hint* *nudge, nudge*   
Shouka: Like........................marry? (Tomo: It's great! Ahh, common...)   
Amiboshi: Korin: Moi? _Not_ do anything? Of COURSE I'd like to marry him! But, heck, I'm reaaaalllyy shy about that kinda thing   
Korin: Sure I love him, but   
Korin: When it comes to asking   
Korin: Then I'm nervous   
Korin: Really nervous   
Shouka: NOW we're gettin somewhere!   
*Tomo: AHEM. I'd just like to let you know that it's the best feeling in the world!!*   
Shouka: *shoves Tomo aside*   
Shouka: You are not part of this meeting!   
Shouka: Now.........how does Amiboshi feel about this? Hmm, Amiboshi?   
Amiboshi: Well, I really kinda like Korin, but   
Amiboshi: I'm kinda shy too  
Shouka: Awwwww, you're shy! Kawaii! *sniffle*   
Shouka: *cough*   
Shouka: Okay   
Shouka: What you have is known as compulsive timid behavior   
Shouka: Now, I believe that it is the man's duty to do the proposal itself, is it not??   
Shouka: Amiboshi, you will have to decide how much you love this gal   
Shouka: Especially.............   
Amiboshi: *looks scared*   
Shouka: Cause I can't stand to see you sad!   
Shouka: *pats on the head*   
Shouka: It's all right   
Shouka: Come now, do you even have a ring??   
Shouka: If not, we must go shopping for one!   
Shouka: *evil glint in eye*   
Amiboshi: *shoves hand in pocket quickly*   
Amiboshi: *produces little gold band*   
Shouka: Hmmmmm....let me see *takes ring carefully* beautiful   
Shouka: We can only assume that she will love it   
Shouka: And now...   
Shouka: We have to have you practice your proposing   
Shouka: Here, here's Chichiri *drags monk in*   
Shouka: Practice on him   
Amiboshi: *cowers yet again*   
*Chichiri: Daaaa????????????????*   
*Chichiri: First Tomo and that evil blond get married...*   
Amiboshi: P-practice on _him_?   
Shouka: YES! Get down on one knee, like so.... *bends down*   
Shouka: And say it, nice and slow and sweet   
Shouka: Girls love romance and melodrama   
Amiboshi: Ahhhh!!   
Amiboshi: I-I can't do it!!   
Shouka: *clucks sympathetically*   
Shouka: Here...listen   
Shouka: *sucks in breath*   
Amiboshi: *stares up like a duckling*   
Shouka: "Korin, I've realized that over the period of our relationship, we've become more than friends...much more. I just want to you to know - well, I was hoping - would you give me the honor of marrying you?" *pulls out fake ring*   
Shouka: There!   
Shouka: You see?   
Shouka: Now you try!   
*Chichiri: mumbles*   
Amiboshi: Oh my gods! *shaking* K-Korin...   
Amiboshi: I've realized th-that over the period o-of our r-relationship...   
Amiboshi: We've come to be more th-than just...friends   
Amiboshi: Much more   
Shouka: *pretends to be Korin so that Chiri doesn't get more embarrassed*   
Amiboshi: *gulp*   
Shouka: Yessssssssssssss???????????????   
Amiboshi: I just w-want you to know, well, I was hoping, I mean   
Amiboshi: WOULD YOU MARRY ME!!!   
Shouka: Oh, that's so sweet! *jumps up in excitement* Your honor? It'd be mine! Of course I'll marry you!   
Shouka: See~!   
Shouka: It wasn't so bad, was it?   
Amiboshi: *looks scared* B-but   
Amiboshi: That was _you_   
Shouka: Yes...........but I'm sure that Korin will be just as pleased   
Shouka: I've talked to her....   
Shouka: And she loves you, Ami-chan! So go out and get her!   
Amiboshi: *quivers like a leaf* DON'T phrase things like that, please! *nearly sobbing*   
Shouka: Fine...go track her down and move in for the kill!   
Shouka: GO GET HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
Amiboshi: *wince* Oh, gods please   
Amiboshi: I can't believe I'm in this situation   
Kouji: Pst   
Shouka: Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
Kouji: Shouka   
Shouka: Yeah??   
Shouka: *bends over to listen*   
Kouji: Get Korin over here. She's a little less shy. Of COURSE, she's NEVER shy when it comes to beating me over the head with a tray, but anyway   
Kouji: It might speed things up   
Shouka: Right   
Shouka: *whispers* Korin! KOOORRRRINNN!   
Shouka: Get over here! *still whispering*   
Korin: Hai?   
Korin: I'm here  
Shouka: Come, your man is frightened out of his poor little wits!!!!!!!! And by the way, good for you, teaching Kouji some manners with a tray!   
Korin: Thank you   
Shouka: Here, look at that scared wittle face!   
Korin: Oh, gods, yes   
Korin: Ami-ai...*slaps hand over mouth* darn   
Shouka: Amiboshi...now!   
Korin: *rolls eyes at herself*   
Shouka: It's all right   
Shouka: I'm here for you both! *quivers with excitement*   
Amiboshi: *shaking* Ko-Korin?   
Korin: I'm not KoK   
Amiboshi: Damn it all! *sobs*   
Shouka: Keep talking...talk, darn the both of you!   
Shouka: I HATE it when people have things to say and they keep quiet!   
Amiboshi: *talking really fast* Korinwillyoumarrymepleasecauseiloveyouhere'saring!   
Shouka: *PSSST, Korin...if you don't say yes, I'll bury you alive! Make the cute lil twin happy!*   
Korin: Um, gomen, Ami-ai, could you say that slower?   
Korin: Don't you do anything to me, Shouka   
Amiboshi: *Takes deeeeeeeep breath* Korin   
Shouka: *prays* Please let it work out, please let it work out...*   
Amiboshi: Will you marry me? I love you very much, I really do. And... I got you a ring...   
Korin: Ami-ai.... I.... OF COURSE I WILL!!   
Amiboshi: *slides ring onto Korin's finger*   
Korin: Oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods!!!   
Korin: Shouka, I love you   
Shouka: *grabs Ashitaka* You be the priest!!! Give Chichiri a break!   
*Ashitaka: Shh, they haven't finished yet!*   
Amiboshi: A-ashitaka? *stares*   
*Ashitaka: Nice to meet you*   
Korin: *distracts his attention by planting a kiss on his lips*   
Shouka: Heee   
Shouka: I love love!   
Korin: Hi Ashitaka! How's the wolf and kids?   
Korin: I meant wife!!!   
Korin: I swear I meant wife!!   
Kouji: Yeah right   
*Ashitaka: Just fine. Lady Eboshi and the Gods have finally come to an agreement...*   
*Ashitaka: They've set up a borderline.*   
*Ashitaka: Lady Eboshi can mine, but only to a certain point*   
Korin: Thank the four gods   
*Ashitaka: Yes...And San and I have managed to visit each other twice this year*   
Korin: Great!  
Shouka: Hey! My computer did it AGAIN!!!!!!!!! And I was right in the middle of getting talked about rudely by a certain red-haired bandit *eyeballs Tasuki*!   
*Ashitaka: Hmm, Excuse me, but they need to get married here..*   
Shouka: Right!   
Korin: *whispers* Do we _really_ need to invite her to the wedding?   
Amiboshi: *whack*   
Korin: I guess that's yes   
Shouka: Hey!   
Korin: Kidding, kidding!!!   
Shouka: I'm not - that - bad, am I? *sniffles* *goes chibi*   
Shouka: Okay.........   
Shouka: As long as you're only kidding...   
Korin: Trust me I was. I'm not _that_ unfeeling!   
Kouji: YEAH RIGHT!!!!!   
Korin: *pulls out flute* You're asking for it, weird-speech-boy!   
Korin: Sooo, Ashitaka, you'll do the honors?   
*Ashitaka: People? Tux, dress? They are supposed to be used in weddings, aren't they????*   
Korin: Ah, dress, right!   
Shouka: *glares* Come on, the Shouka-unit says put on the stuff, and be quicker than Tomo about it!*   
Korin: *Anim-agically finds herself in a white wedding dress*   
Shouka: *fluffs friend's wedding gown* Awww, how sweet! *sobs*   
Korin: You know, white really isn't my colour   
Korin: Sadly, red is   
Kouji: WOMEN!!   
Kouji: How can you do this before you get married?   
Shouka: *whacks Kouji* Shut it! You don't understand! I take an hour in a dressing room at American Eagle, I can see where getting married would be an even bigger deal when it comes to clothes!!   
Korin: Yeah.   
Shouka: *goes all misty eyed* There! Red for you, Korin-chan. Now..............Amiboshi? Tux?   
Amiboshi: *Anim-magically is wearing a tuxedo*   
Korin: Oh my sweet gods in heaven   
Korin: You look so darn hot in a tux it should be illegal!   
Amiboshi: *bluuuuuuuuush*   
Shouka: AAAAAWWW! *babies Ami* So handsome *sniffle* My little boy, all grown up and getting called hot by his future wife...   
Korin: *blushing just as hard* Did I say that out loud?   
Shouka: Yes dearie, I'm afraid you did. But we all do that, right Hot-sama?? *drags Hotohori over and kisses him* Right?   
*Hotohori: *sigh* Whatever you say....hey, another wedding! Wonderful!*   
Shouka: Now, shoo! *pushes Korin in the back with one hand and Ami with the other*   
Shouka: Go say the vows!   
Korin: Wonderful, right   
Korin: *deep breath* well...this is it   
Korin: I lose my freedom   
Korin: AND I'M SO HAPPYYYYY   
*Hotohori and Shouka: YES WONDERFUL! NOW GET YOUR SORRY SELVES UP THERE AND SUCK EACH OTEHR'S FACES OFF!*   
Amiboshi and Korin: *blush*   
Korin: Darn you Shouka   
Korin: Do you always have to say that kind of thing?   
Shouka: Eh?? Nani?   
Amiboshi: It's rather...discomfiting   
Shouka: Well, it's true...er, I guess I could have said that different.......   
Shouka: Okay   
Shouka: I'll try to be less embarrassing   
Korin: Thanks   
Shouka: NOW GO AND SNOG SENSELESS, YOU GREAT HORMONE-DRIVEN PEOPLE! Gogogogo!   
Korin: Darn it all, right before the wedding!!!   
Korin: My time's up   
Shouka: Ahhhhh *coos softly*   
Shouka: That's okay you two   
Amiboshi: Can we continue the service tomorrow, Ashitaka?   
Amiboshi: I'm really sorry!!   
*Ashitaka: Don't be...I'll see you two tomorrow ;)*   
Amiboshi: Ok!!!   
Amiboshi: Be ready for a ceremony!!!   
*Hotohori *around Shouka's lips* BYE!*   
Amiboshi: Bye!!   
Shouka: *looks up* Ja...and we'll be ready   
Korin: Thank you so much Shouka  
  
  
TBC...  
  
Will this marriage work out? Obviously. Darn it all, why am I letting Korin be set up with MY bishi? *sigh* Darn, darn, darn. Well, you'll see more in the next chapter of "A Scary Day In Computer Konan". Ain't I great with titles?  
  
KoKourin, angel of destruction 


	3. Here Comes the Bride, All Dressed inRed?

Moooore, it's time for....THE CEREMONY!!!!!!!  
  
  
Shouka: Hey-o!   
Amiboshi: Hihi!  
Amiboshi: Sooo, the wedding?   
Shouka: Yep!   
Shouka: Ashitaka...get over here! *Drags him by the arm*   
*Ashitaka: Oh, I forgot*   
Amiboshi: Yes?   
*Ashitaka: *slips into priest outfit* Oh dear, I've never performed a wedding before!!!!*   
Shouka: Amiboshi, Korin, back into that dress and tux!   
*Korin and Amiboshi Anim-agically do so*  
*Ashitaka: *sniffles* Aww, so kawaii....Okay, I've got myself together. Repeat after me, Amiboshi: I take this woman, to have and to hold*   
Amiboshi: I take this woman, to have and to hold....you know, she's not really a _woman_ yet   
*Ashitaka: *cough* It would be rather odd to call her a girl at her wedding......*clears throat* in sickness and in health*   
Amiboshi: In sickness and in health   
*Ashitaka: For richer, for poorer*   
Amiboshi: For richer for poorer   
*Ashitaka: For better, for worse*   
Amiboshi: For better, for worse   
*Ashitaka: Till death do you part*   
Amiboshi: Till death do...us?...part   
*Ashitaka: *CRIES* Aww! Okay, I'm cool...Korin, repeat after me (and yes, Ami, it is "us): I take this man, to have and to hold   
Korin: I take this man who is actually a boy to have and to hold   
*Ashitaka: You have no romantic spirit, do you know that Korin? *Clears throat loudly again* in sickness and in health   
Korin: In sickness and in health and yes I do   
*Ashitaka: Do NOT ARGUE WITH THE PRIEST!!! *Cough* for richer, for poorer   
(Hotohori:: Ashitaka! Shut up! It's their wedding!!!*)   
Korin: For richer for poorer I can say what ever I want Ashibaka thanks Heika   
Korin: *cough*   
*Ashitaka: *sigh* No respect for religious figures these days...for better, for worse   
(Hotohori: You're very welcome)   
Korin: For better, for worse   
Korin: Ashibaka, you're not _really_ a priest   
*Ashitaka: Till death do you part and please don't call me that! I KNOW WOLVES WHO COULD RIP YOU APART!! *Cough*   
Korin: To death do us part and you better not BECAUSE _I_ KNOW FLUTES THAT COULD RIP YOU APART!!!!   
*Ashitaka: *cough:::coughcough::wolvesbeatflutesanyday::cough* NOW, do you, Amiboshi, take this ANNOYING _WOMAN___ as you lawfully wedded wife?!*   
Amiboshi: I DO! (And don't call her annoying, please)   
Amiboshi: And I rather prefer flutes   
*Ashitaka: Onlyifshestopscallingme"ashibaka"becausethatreallyisan-noying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU, *cough* Korin-CHAN take this man as your lawfully wedded wife?!*   
Korin: Hai, I do, gomen nasai, cause I want no hard feelings on the wedding day!   
*Ashitaka: *calms down* Okay...*mumbles* gomen...Okay, you may now kiss the bride Amiboshi....   
*Tasuki: *WAILS* WEDDIN'S are so SWEET!*   
Amiboshi: *does so*   
Korin: *won't let him go*   
Shouka: Heehee   
*Hotohori: tries to drag Korin away from Amiboshi* Come on, I made another cake! Just put on the rings and let go of him!*   
Korin: Darn you, ok   
Korin: CAKE!!   
Korin: I made a cake yesterday, but there's none left now. Waen and one of her friends _demolished_ it   
*Hotohori: Shouka makes twelve cookies every two days. She eats them all herself before anyone else has the chance -_-*   
*Hotohori: She makes giant-sized ones, too*   
Korin: *predictably, cracks up*   
*Hotohori: And then she gets sick and whines horribly to ME, like I'M the one who made her eat all those cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*   
Kouji: *Laughs unfeelingly*   
*Hotohori: -_- I get no respect from anyone any more*   
Shouka: Ahhhhhhhh......Hott-hori, you're so CUTE when you're angry!!   
*Hotohori: *grumbles*   
Amiboshi: *plays happy song*   
Shouka: *kisses Hoto-sama's forehead* You're not THAT ticked off, are you?*   
*Hotohori: Thank you Amiboshi...and no*   
*Hotohori: Because I'm going to eat all the cake!*   
Korin: Nooooooooo!!!   
Amiboshi: By the way, we have a request from a family friend who wants to be a godmother   
Shouka: *goes teary-eyed* Aww fine...I'd probably corrupt the poor kids, anyways....   
Shouka: Hey! If you have girls....   
Shouka: Do I have permission to take them shopping   
Shouka: ??!!   
Amiboshi: Um....   
Korin: YEAH!!!   
Korin: Yeah!! Uh-huh!   
Korin: I trust your style   
Shouka: Don't worry Ami...even if you have boys, I can still help develop their fashion sense.... I mean, let's face it, your style isn't the...snazziest.... thing in the world.... Not that you look bad in the clothes you wear!!   
Shouka: Ahh, thankies Korin *huggles*   
*Tasuki: THEY'RE SO KAWAII!! I LOVE WEDDINGS!!*   
Korin: No prob. Tasu-chan, you need a wife   
Korin: Nooowwww, there I can help   
Korin: Hidemi!!!! Come!!   
*Tasuki: What? I don't wanna be married with any stupid woman!!*   
Shouka: *snicker* So you're going to marry a man?   
Hidemi: Hmm, what?   
*Tasuki: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! You can't make me! I burn yer sorry a**!!!**   
*Hotohori: Be quiet ruffian*   
Shouka: Ahh, wouldn't you know it?? I have to LEAVE! *sobs*   
Shouka: More weddings tomorrow??   
Amiboshi: Yea!! Hidemi awaits   
Korin: He heh heh   
*Tasuki: NO!! Nononononononono-*   
Shouka: *puts hand over Tasuki's mouth*   
Shouka: Yeah, he'll love it!   
Shouka: Ja   
Korin: Good   
Amiboshi: Ja ne  
  
Short because of time limits. Say, who wants to see Tasuki married, huh? HMMMMMM???? Yeah right, so not going to happen  
  
KoK 


	4. Nakago's Having Flashbacks, Hire a Babys...

No marriages, it's the marriage COUNSELOR!!!! And Nakkie makes such a kawaiiiiiii kid!!!!  
Still own nothing  
  
  
*Tomo: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!*   
*Tomo: You, my dear marriage counselor, have not given my husband and I the meeting you promised!*   
Amiboshi: *cracks up*   
*Nakago: *whimpers* Please, don't me face him, please don't make me face him, he's made me sleep on the couch for the past week!*   
*Nakago: As in, he MADE ME SLEEP ALONE! I WAS LONELY!*   
Amiboshi: Ohhhh   
*Tomo: *coughs* You deserve it*   
Shouka: Now, let's settle.......   
Shouka: *coughs* *puts glasses on* *picks up notepad*   
Shouka: Amiboshi, watch them while I do this   
Shouka: They may try to hurt each other   
Amiboshi: Ok   
Shouka: Alright, let's jump right into this.......what is the problem?   
*Tomo: WELL, he has the nerve to tell me that he got rid of all his whips, when really they're in storage!*   
Amiboshi: Bad Nakkie!   
*Nakago: Hey! He's been making me sleep on the couch! That must be some sort of spouse abuse!*   
Shouka: *cough* Not really.   
Amiboshi: Heeee   
Shouka: All right, let's focus.... so Tomo, you are upset that your husband still uses his whips, are you?   
*Tomo: Well, I don't know if he actually uses them or not - it's the fact that he LIED to me! About weapons! What if he's out there torturing innocent little squirrels or something?!*   
Amiboshi: *tries to restrain himself*   
*Nakago: Let me remind you that YOU once tortured for pleasure too, MY DEAR!*   
Shouka: *pats Amiboshi on the head* There now, we don't need you to be upset too.   
Shouka: Let's be reasonable, gentlemen...Nakago, are you willing to give up those whips?   
*Nakago: *squirms* I don't know....they're kind of, erm, special to me.....*   
*Tomo: *glares*   
Amiboshi: Your love or your whips?   
*Nakago: *panics* You're all ganging up on me! This isn't right - it's not justice! And I - I really do love those whips!*   
*Tomo: Oh and I'm sure it's justice when you hit poor little tree rodents with those whips, eh?!*   
*Nakago: I never whipped any squirrels!*   
Amiboshi: Tomo, calm DOWN!!!   
*Tomo: *humphs* Sure you didn't!!!*   
Shouka: *pats both on the head* please, calm down!   
Shouka: Nakago, have you ever hit anything or used your whips? Or have they just been in storage?   
*Nakago: No, I haven't done anything with them!*   
Shouka: So why are you upset, Tomo?   
*Tomo: He lied to me!*   
Shouka: Ah, I see..........   
Amiboshi: Trust issues   
Shouka: *nods* Nakago, I think it would be best if you apologized and explained why you what you did. Amiboshi is right - it's all about trust.   
Amiboshi: Right on!   
*Nakago: I'm sorry.....I love you, I really do. It's just, I like to still think of myself as "big bad boy Nakago", you know, the rough-and-tumble leader, and those whips kind of give me that feeling.....I was afraid that if I told you that I still had them, you'd get angry! I'm sorry......*   
*Tomo: That's - that's alright, I guess.....but you're going to have to show me that I can trust you again!*   
*Nakago: How?*   
*Tomo: You can sleep in the bed tonight....but can I trust you to not kiss me or touch me at all?*   
*Nakago: *groans* That's hard!*   
*Tomo: I suppose....*   
*Nakago: Alright, alright......but only for one night, okay?*   
*Tomo: TWO*   
*Nakago: winces*   
Shouka: Good   
Shouka: An agreement has been reached   
Shouka: But what is to happen with the whips   
*Nakago: stares*   
Amiboshi: Throw them OUT!!!   
*Tomo: *stares*   
Shouka: What was that you said, Amiboshi? You have an idea of what to do with the whips?   
*Tomo: I want him to throw them out, special or not1*   
*Nakago: I really want to keep those!*   
Amiboshi: tie a rock to them   
Amiboshi: and throw em in a lake   
*Tomo: What would you use them for, anyways?*   
*Nakago: I'm sure....erm...that I - we - could think of something*   
Shouka: If you're suggesting kink, then that's too much information   
*Tomo: *mental sigh* Fine, keep one   
*Tomo: As a memento*   
*Tomo: But throw the others away, okay?*   
*Nakago: Fine...*   
Amiboshi: an agreement!!!   
Amiboshi: YES!!  
Shouka: *claps hands together* Alright! Tomo, Amiboshi, Nakago, any last words on the meeting?   
Shouka: Anything else that you'd like to suggest that might improve the relationship?   
Amiboshi: no comment   
*Nakago: *clears throat* Yes. I think that Amiboshi is lying! He really wants to comment on us! Say something, boy!*   
Shouka: Yes, please do *stares*   
*Tomo: Yeah, give a comment or three. Go on! *nudges Ami with his foot*   
*Nakago: You don't think that we're.... WeIrD or anything, do you?!*   
Amiboshi: Nakago, listen   
Amiboshi: When you wanted me to go to Konan.....   
Amiboshi: You said you'd kill Shun if I didn't   
*Nakago: *shrugs uncomfortably*   
Amiboshi: Well....   
*Nakago: *stutters* I'm.......sorry??*   
*Tomo: *whacks Nakago upside the head* You idiot!*   
*Nakago: Hey, I was evil back then, remember!*   
*Tomo: *mutters* Make that three nights......*   
*Nakago: NO!*   
Amiboshi: Well, I mean, you apologize, and regret it, and you know   
*Nakago: I'm sorry to YOU, I'm sorry to AMIBOSHI, I'm sorry to TAMAHOME AND HOTOHORI AND NURIKO AND ANYONE ELSE I HURT DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY!!!!!!!!! *sobs*   
*Tomo: *huggles Nakago* There, let it all out...*   
Amiboshi: GOMEN NASAI!!!!!!   
*Nakago: thasokay....*sniffles*   
*Nakago: I want my MOMMY!*   
*Nakago: AND MY DADDY!*   
Amiboshi: They're dead   
Amiboshi: Just like mine   
*Nakago *sobs*   
*Nakago: I hate killing!!!!!!!!!*   
Amiboshi: Woah!   
*Nakago: *wails* *clings to Tomo* *runs away*   
*Nakago: *clutches Amiboshi* TEACH ME how to be nonviolent!!!!!!!!! *whimpers* I don't like people who kill! I don't like me!!!!!!*   
*Tomo: Now, don't say you hate yourself....*   
*Nakago: But I do!*   
Amiboshi: Okay, I will teach you to be a pacifist. But I have to go   
*Nakago: *sniffles* Don't leave! I want my daddy! And mommy! And I want that nasty man to get away!!*   
Amiboshi: *eyes widen*   
*Tomo: *eyes go round* He's having flashbacks.....*leads him away* See ya......*holds Nakago* Poor thing. I hope he gets better......*   
Amiboshi: Ok   
Amiboshi: *waves slowly*   
*Nakago: Get him away!!!!!!!! make him STOP!!!!!!!*   
*Tomo: *whispers: See ya*   
*Nakago: Mommy! Why aren't you paying attention to me?!*   
Shouka: *coughs* I am NOT your mother   
Shouka: Blonde, yes   
Shouka: your mother, no   
*Nakago: You're not? Then........you must be! *clings wildly to Amiboshi*   
*Nakago: *clings desperately to Amiboshi* Mommy, can I have a cookie? Pretty please with sugar on top?*   
Amiboshi: *gives him cookie* what the heck   
*Nakago: *munches slowly* Thank you, Mommy! Can I go torture birds now, mommy?*   
*Nakago: Or is that too mean? I remember you told me not to be mean........*   
Amiboshi: Right   
Amiboshi: That's mean   
Amiboshi: Don't do that   
*Nakago: *blinks* Okay*   
*Nakago: Whatever you say Mommy*   
Amiboshi: And remember:   
Amiboshi: In Alaska it's illegal to give alcohol to a moose   
*Nakago: *giggles* Okay*   
Amiboshi: Dumb Laws in Alaska (I was looking at site, the address, if anyone really wants to know, is http://www.dumblaws.com)   
*Nakago: I won't give beer to any mooses*   
Amiboshi: Good kid   
Amiboshi: Have another cookie   
*Nakago: *grins* *eats cookie quickly*   
*Nakago: *eyes go round* I'm cold, mommy!*   
Amiboshi: Wanna blanket?   
Amiboshi: Or a coat?   
*Nakago: My toes are frozen and my ears are frozen and my nose is frozen..................a blanket??*   
Amiboshi: Yeah   
Amiboshi: S'warm   
Amiboshi: *drapes blanket over Nakago's shoulders*   
*Nakago: *shivers* Thank you! *wraps blanket very tightly around himself* *settles himself in Amiboshi's lap*   
*Nakago: Bouce me up and down, mommy! Thas fun*   
Amiboshi: Ok!   
Amiboshi: *does so*   
*Nakago: *giggles*   
*Nakago: WWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!*   
Amiboshi: *grin* It's fun being his mommy!   
*Tomo: *sighs in relief* Good. I hoped you wouldn't be upset...he's always like that when he has those flashbacks*   
Amiboshi: I'd be happy to take care of him anytime that happens   
*Nakago: Mommy, you always take care of me!*   
*Tomo: Thank you!!!!!!*   
*Nakago: *giggles* Grownups are funny*   
Amiboshi: ^_~ No prob! Glad ya like me   
Amiboshi: Dumb Laws in California California   
Amiboshi: Is much, much worse   
Amiboshi: Than Alaska   
*Nakago: Those are really funny rules!*   
Amiboshi: Glad ya like em! I wanna make sure you have plenty to keep you happy   
*Nakago: I can even read, mommy, look! "A-all dog....waste...what does that mean, mommy?....must be.....re - re - remosed?"*   
*Nakago: And sunnyshine is garuanteed to all!*   
Amiboshi: Removed, honey   
Amiboshi: Means ya gotta get rid of it   
*Nakago: Oh.....why?*   
Amiboshi: Smells bad I guess   
*Nakago: *giggles* That's gross, mommy!*   
Amiboshi: Right, right   
Amiboshi: Now we'll look up Japan!   
*Nakago: Japan is a fun place!*   
*Nakago: I like it there.*   
Amiboshi: Japan doesn't have any stupid laws   
*Nakago: *sobs* WHHHHHHHYYYY?? I wanted to practice reading some more!*   
*Nakago: *blinks up tearily*   
Amiboshi: Dumb Laws in England Try England, honey   
Amiboshi: I think robin hood had an impression on them   
*Nakago: There are too many big words on that page......what's a "premise"? And a "bale of hay?"   
Amiboshi: Bale of hay?   
Amiboshi: S'what horses eat, honey   
*Nakago: Mommy, what's a horse?*   
Amiboshi: Horse? Issa big powerful animal   
*Nakago: Someone once said that my hair was like hay...*   
Amiboshi: Like a donkey, but bigger   
Amiboshi: Oh, honey, they meant your hair was yellow!   
Amiboshi: Hay is yellow   
*Nakago: *blinks* If horses are so big and powerful, are they the monsters that hide under beds? And - and do they eat little boys?*   
Amiboshi: Nononoooo, they're vegetarians   
Amiboshi: Like Shouka   
*Nakago: Can I be a vegetarian? I don't wanna eat any cute cows!*   
Amiboshi: Ok   
Amiboshi: But you must never eat meat, all right?   
*Nakago: Okay. Yay! Does that mean that I can eat only cookies?*   
Amiboshi: Sure, if you want to   
*Nakago: YAY! Thank you mommy! *clings to Amiboshi*   
Amiboshi: Heehe, cute kid   
*Nakago: Hey, Shouka says she's gotta leave and that I should go with her. May I?*   
Amiboshi: Ok, go on ahead   
Amiboshi: Come back tomorrow though, ok, honey?   
*Nakago: Buh bye! I love you, mommy! *kisses on the cheek*   
Shouka: *sigh*   
Shouka: He's so kawaii   
Shouka: Ja ne   
Shouka: I'll bring him back to you tomorrow:)   
Amiboshi: Ok! You do that *hugs Nakago* Sweet kid   
Amiboshi: I'll be looking forward!   
*Nakago: *hugs back*   
Shouka: See ya!   
Amiboshi: Bye!  
  
**To the Tune of Red River Valley*   
Come on, R+R, if you love me! Do not hasten to leave, unreviewed. But remember the fic you've been reading, and the author who's sadly insecure 


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